When it comes to physical and mainstream images of beauty, it’s easy for self doubt to creep into one’s mind. I think most of us go wrong by comparing our own unique and intrinsic beauty to that of others.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve doubted myself or a decision I’ve made. I’ve had to learn to trust myself and the wisdom I’ve gained through experience, and then to forgive myself if things don’t go as planned.
4 years post-relaxer, one thing I’ve never doubted was my decision to return to my natural texture.
Some people say that in the professional world, natural hair is a risk; surely you’ve heard the discussions about what’s appropriate regarding natural hair in the workplace. Fortunate for me, my hair has been well received in my workplace and as a result there have been no issues for the office of equal opportunity to resolve between my employer and myself, mmhmmm. Additionally we have folks of the belief that natural hair is unkempt or unpolished and as a result makes us less attractive. How do we fight against voices that reinforce these negative thought processes?
By practicing confidence!
Lack of confidence stems from a belief that you aren’t good enough or lack in some way.
When I first went natural, I was insecure because I was ignorant of the knowledge I needed to maintain and style my hair in it’s natural texture.
To eliminate self doubt and increase confidence, start by:
- Practicing Positive Affirmations – You are good enough (with your natural hair). You are loveable and desirable (with your natural hair). You are were purposely made (with your natural hair), thus no errors were made when the creator crafted you. With daily repetition, these positive affirmations will become second nature to you; in turn the reflection you see in the mirror will be a representation of the Queen you are.
- Learn everything you can about maintaining healthy hair – Time to get busy! Pick up a book, log on to Youtube, stalk the net for websites that cater to health hair practices. Knowledge is power; power put in to practice makes perfect!
- Find 1-2 simple styles and practice implementing them – Through trial and error you will get better at (re)creating styles, as well as achieving and perfecting looks for your hair texture and length. I suggest at least mastering one protective and one loose style for versatility.
- Pay It Forward – When I see a woman with a beautiful ‘do, I pay a compliment to her confidence piggy bank. It actually makes me feel more confident about myself to see the sparkle in one’s eye when they receive unsolicited, positive reinforcement.
- Work on Inner Beauty – As the old adage goes, inner beauty outshines outer beauty. Time, inner turmoil, and unhealthy environments and lifestyles can cause wear and tear on our physical beauty. Spend time working on developing and exuding your inner beauty and even a “bad hair day” won’t faze you!
And just for good measure: Eat Good, Feel Good, Look Good!
I hope these tips help lessen any self doubt that you have. As you grow in confidence and love for yourself, the opinions of others will matter less and less.